Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
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You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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