it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
