Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
