u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
