you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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