Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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