So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
