if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize