i just wanna soil my oats bro
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize