Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
