Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
