id be glad to
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
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That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
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HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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