i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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