i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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