dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
