now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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