Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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