Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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