holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
