so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
