ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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