I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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