We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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