She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
