meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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