margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You ruined the universe
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
