it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
