my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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