woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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