just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
