Don't make out with my wife yet
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
