Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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