i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize