he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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