this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
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Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
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Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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