His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize