i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
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