It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
