Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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