Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
