Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
