What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I want her autograph on my taint
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
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