I need help removing her.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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