glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
