Is it because I queefed?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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