So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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