Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
