I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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