i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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