Porn is love you can see.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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