So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
