She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
