May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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