she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize