As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
