Nicole vs. Life
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
