i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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