OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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