He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I think I am morally bankrupt
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize