is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
