I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize