i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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