i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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