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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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