therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
