Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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