guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
a search helicopter?!
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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