After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
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And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
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Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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