apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize