Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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