i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
